Theatre of Contrast - Khandie Khisses - Burlesque, Fire Breather, Underwater Mermaid and more...

Theatre of Contrast

A quick photo shoot can sometimes be very nerving but to be honest speed was necessary as I had lots of plans for the day. Thankfully Baron from Immortaleye Photography is wonderful so with three outfits shoot in the space of  1.5hrs I think its a testament to his organisation skills and my fast changing abilities. The shoot was for two dresses I had been sent to model from Voodoo Kitten 13 Clothing. The two pretty dresses are available to buy from her directly. The other dress is from the Bettie Page Store but I bought it via Nikita Sablier. I have modelled for Voodoo Kitten 13 Clothing in the past and actually own some of their garments (huge fan of the tie shirts). The shoot went without a hitch and two cups of tea so perfect!

Image Copyright Baron Bratby

With my mermaid performance coming ever closer, I have stepped up the intensity of the rehearsals. So Friday saw me back at Scubaducks rehearsing like a mad thing doing barrel rolls, surface dives and general attempts at underwater acrobatics. Not too much trouble once I got comfortable though the chlorine did start to hurt my eyes a lot. I can really see the development of the act coming together finally so cant wait to get the actual show done.

Uncovering the pool ready for rehearsals

I had to dash back to Big S’s house though to get ready as we (plus two friends) were off the Aylesbury Waterside Theatre to see Spamalot. I was constantly interrupted getting ready by Big S’s singing songs from the show so much I nearly launched him out of the window. God I do love the man after all he is my best friend but sometimes….just sometimes…

The theatre is a new addition to Aylesbury and a prominent somewhat imposing feature in the area…reminds me a ship. Inside I think the designer went for a Jenga look as its seems a lot of stacked wood covered the walls. A modern take on a grand theatre.

Along with the droves of audience members we took our seats….from start to finish I howled with laughter so much I think I cried. My friend Roz and I giggled like school girls at some of the smuttier jokes whilst Nick and Big S laughed at the fart jokes. A fantastic time and I am tempted to go see it again. I had a blast. One funny moment was King Arthur (played by Phill Jupitus) bursting out laughing whilst attempting to deliver a line that set the whole cast and audience off in giggles. Fabulous.

After a few drinks post show I headed home to bed shattered.

The next day saw me high tailing it to Portsmouth (well more Southsea) to the King’s Theatre for Joe Black‘s House of Burlesque. Blinking heck the theatre was breathtaking. I understand it to be well over 100 years old. I stepped out onto the stage to carry out my tech rehearsal and instantly my heart stopped. The feeling of being alone on that stunning stage staring back at the hundreds of seats that would soon be filled was intense. I think I had a lip quivering moment….Who can blame me. This theatre was a complete contrast to that in Aylesbury. Dramatic and brimming with elegance and shabby appeal.

Tech rehearsal done I retreated to my dressing room and waited for acts to arrive. Aaah my odd dressing room. I noticed that upon my return it smelt heavily of lavender and when I mentioned it to Joe he casually (as he so often does) mentioned the whole theatre was haunted particularly the dressing rooms and the female toilets. I laughed and wondered if the next time I went to pee if a ghost was watching me…kinky things those spooks.

The other acts on the bill were: Millie Dollar, Dusty Limits, Vivid Angel, Pippa the Ripper, Barry and Stuart, Mr Mistress, Frank Sanazi and of course Mr Joe Black himself.

I have only met Millie, Frank and Joe before so was excited to meet the others. I was rather nervous in all honesty but I neednt have been as everyone was wonderful. Dusty had us all fits of giggles in the kitchen whilst we all had a pre show luncheon. Mr Mistress was equally entertaining. At one point during the antics Millie mounted me and Dusty did his best come on impression (wait not that smutty). A perfectly wonderful pre show gathering.

With curtain up at 7.30pm we all retreated to our individual dressing rooms to get ready.

This must be my dressing room....

My first act was Gorilla Voodoo with a whole new under costume. You see I start off in a gorilla costume and eventually strip to reveal the temple dancer underneath who tries to tempt man’s secret of fire out the audience. Thats the idea at least. Though from the audience perspective it probably looks like a gorilla running amok stripping to some fancy pants… hahaha

I had to sneak to the back of the theatre as the idea was that I ran through the audience to scare them. Poor buggers. Some of them looked genuinely shocked to see this hair monstrosity causing havoc on her way to the stage. aahhh…LOVED IT!

make up set...just waiting for my call to the stage.

note the coat. My cunning disguise in case any one saw me sneaking round the back of the audience.

I got to watch a lot of the other acts from the wings (oohh I do love real theatres). Each one was amazing and I dont mean that lightly. I felt very honoured to be amongst them. No dont get all jumpy about me going soft. Its just a fact. I felt very honoured to be there.

view from the stage. check out the orb...someone told me that a sign of spooks. I thought it was dust... ;p

My second act was my darling Dark Before The Dawn. With pitch black on stage, the lights in my stars looked amazing! I danced like I have never danced before…and as the lights came on the crowd went wild for the music. Love love love loved it. Thank you audience. The energy you feel when you know an audience is right behind you is fantastic. They whooped and cheered like good uns. Only one minor incident of my foot going through the stairs (a severely brusied toe OUCH!).

The lovely photographer Scott Chalmers managed to capture some images of me in the Dark Before The Dawn costume so I hope to be able to share them with you all soon.

As the show drew to a close the final acts really blew the roof off the theatre. Millie went at her Jealously act with such velocity and virtuosity I was left near breathless. Pippa hula hooped her way into the audiences’ hearts, Barry and Stuart grossed and entranced the audience (and us performers alike) with their fantastic routine and the wonderful Dusty Limits had them rolling the aisles with his songs of wit and charm. Can I also mention that his voice is AMAZING! The man is talented like you wouldn’t believe. I’d hate him if he wasnt so lovely. ;p.

Can I also say thanks to Barry and Stuart for making me jump out of my skin and gross out (in a good way) especially with Suicide in C Minor.

With our host the decadently debauched  Joe Black sending our audience into the night with a polite ‘fuck off’ we all decamped like a mass exodus of sequins and make up to a pub where we became even more of a spectual amongst the River Island clad men and women. A special mention has to go to the amazonion drag queen Sally Monella crossing over the road in huge heels and not much else. Damn fine legs.

Sex pest Millie Dollar grapples another woman...poor Sally.

ahh Eris...ginger beer to drink matching her ginger hair....she is a cutey

Drinking and chatting ensued and I even managed to acquire a Hello Kitty necklace from a punter…love it! You can buy your own here:

My Hello Kitty Necklace! aaahhh

And now I am sat in Eris Eveiller‘s house in Southampton waiting on dinner and friends before i have to lug my glittery butt back to London. Looking forward to dinner on Wednesday though with Sara and Diva Hollywood followed by a weekend at the Kapow Convention…yeah. geek fest!


PS I woke this morning to this email from an audience member about my performance:

Khandie you were totally amazing at the Kings last night! Such energy and
excitement – like a shaken bottle of champagne opening. Hope you will be
returning to Portsmouth – you are the best!’


aahh thank you!!!


Khandie Khisses 2017 Up
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