Open Letter to Jamelia (Her off Loose Women) – Plus Size Debate

So its hit the headlines faster than muck sprayed onto a field. And I hate to be juvenile but I see the similarities. It stinks.

Dear Jamelia,

Many of the general public know you as the once music performer and Loose Women co-host. But you are also a mother and I am sure many things. No one set you to be an example to the nation but with your role on that there telly box you have become one. You are often pointed out to be less than ‘worldly’ by viewers of Loose Women but thats all part and parcel of social media allowing us to express our opinions.

Personally for me you are just another women earning her mortgage repayments and grafting to make her way in the world.

Sadly you stepped one too far for me.

You were quoted as saying

‘plus size clothes should only be available in specialist shops’ and ‘high street stores are helping to promote an unhealthy image if they sell trendy clothes in bigger sizes.’

Well done you. Not.

Because public shaming completely makes people lose weight. Public humiliation is something these people face EVERY SINGLE DAY because people like yourself it seems (I hope this was a silly error) think you can give opinions on such matters with little regard. Please show me your degree in psychology and your masters in medicine . No? So its just your opinion. An opinion you can have but you know what, when you open that mouth of yours and speak to a nation via the television you need to be checking yourself.

Shaming people to shop elsewhere to help encourage their health? Right so can we move McDonalds, Krispie Cremes and Nandos out of towns into ‘Fatty Zones’ so we arent tempted and we can mock those heading to the Chubster Avenue. Can we move all alcohol and smoking products to this part of town too. As they are bad for health. Can we separate society please.

Jamelia, you stated in a Daily Mail (ick) article you felt pressure to be skinny post babies. I agree, that stigma is there but seems you are adding to it now despite claiming you were against it.

You have since gone on to Good Morning Britain and apologised for offending but stood by your comments. Simply adding you meant extremes of under size 6 and over size 20 to be outsourced to other shops. Yes because separation is key. No it isnt.

Why stop with just what we (i clearly mean you) deem as unhealthy bodily, lets do mental health. Lets remove all music, imagery and magazines that promote this unhealthy image.

Oh wait…are those shelves stocked with your music? Your images? Your numerous tabloid stories? oh dear. People in glass houses…

If you want to promote health then encourage mental health in equal measure and let me tell you as a plus size woman I am not feeling your view point at all. You preach about pressure to be skinny in magazines, reaping the financial rewards, the accolades for being outspoken and then quick as you like you turn it around. That fame craving, that publicity hunting, that ignorance is not surprising. Just leaves me disappointed. A women who so bravely and strongly fought a violent past, a painful childhood and comes out with venom for others who dont fit her view. Being fat or skinny isnt just about food. Its about mind set. Its about lifestyle. Its about past present and future. Its not about you. Its not for you to decide.

I dont mind you expressing your view. I dont. I just pity that someone who overcame so much has little compassion, blinkered views and cant see how similar this segregation of people based on appearance is to a past we are not proud of.

I wish you well in this shit storm that those comments have caused. I hope you can ride the waves and come out with a career in the public eye that isnt sitting you next to Mrs Hopkins.

Love

Khandie Khisses

 

  1. I agree with this all the way. It’s not right to shame anyone in this way and it won’t make anyone live healthier life styles. Also if all woman were size 0 it would be a very borring place. So you go Khandie!!

  2. Thank you 🙂 I am a plus-sized woman who would love to try burlesque but feel too big to try it and these attitudes don’t help. I feel more motivated to live better (rather than getting thinner) when I feel good because clothes shops support me rather than stigmatizing me and I don’t feel that my food choices are being watched by everyone around me. I am a member of my university’s cheerleading team – I may be the biggest one there but no one treats me any differently. I am just one of the girls so if they can accept me as I am then why can’t society?

    • Because sometimes people are stupid but a person is not. I would love to see you cheerleading. Go get em! I am in ya corner cheering you on x

  3. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    I am plus size… But those plus size shops don’t cater for me at all – infact very few do.
    I am 5’2″, with a bust of 36HH a smaller waist and large (ish) hips!!
    Without my nan I would have no dresses as she makes mine, due to my awkward figure.
    I hate going shopping for clothes for me, especially with the added baby pouch (I used to work in the Jewellery Lady, with a bump), and I often end up crying when I’m home cos I have just spent an hr being reminded at how my body doesn’t fit many shape.

    Her comments were not nice and would just make feel worse if I couldn’t attempt to shop in regular high street shops.
    And you gave her much more to think about. I hope she reads this…

    Thank you. Xx

    • Clothes shopping for me is a nightmare too. You should never be shamed. Its your body, your armour against the world and its your size. Be proud momma. Be damn proud x

  4. Khandie
    You go girl
    all I can say as a plus size lady jamelia you got served by a force not to be recon with ….. never underestimate the power of a woman!!!!
    it’s hard enough finding clothes which I hate shopping with a passion without being out casted from society to the fat corner chubbers street
    I’ve got your back Khandie all the way more people like yourself should be speaking out loud
    best wishes to you
    donna x

  5. Another perfect response from Khandie…wonder if the Daily Mail (ughhh) will be in contact !!!..

  6. I want to thank you for your article, well said. I’m a plus size woman myself, mostly caused by undiagnosed Coeliac disease, I’m eating right, but still of a more volumptious figure which I love. I can’t stand the fact that a lot of shops out there sell only to the more thinner women and ignore a whole market of women with money to spend. Socieities idea of beauty is ever changing, it’s just such a pity that we now live in an era where being abnormally skinny is the way to go. I love my curves, I love my wife’s curves and I thank you once again on your fantastic article.

  7. such a shame that we women can’t all support one another more. we’re all beautiful in our own way whatever shape or size. Shaming anyone for being different or not conforming to whatever the hell “normal” is, doesn’t change anything or help anyone. I’ve met some very attractive volumptuous ladies and thin ladies and i’ve met some very unattractive “beautiful” ladies. Confidence, sincerity and a warm smile can help make all of us stunning whatever size. Be stunning ladies!!! x x

  8. thank you for writing this open letter. ive struggled all my life with my weight (due to disability) and felt the pressure many times. Trying to like yourself both physically and mentally is hard enough but when u have ppl like that in the public eye it just makes it worse. Also id love to try burlesque and pinup modelling but feel too ashamed due to my shape and size.

    • Give it a go. NEVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SIZE! EVER! EVER EVER EVER!!! xx show me your pinup photos when you do it ok?

  9. Plus size people are music consumers also. Let’s hope they think twice about buying into your caterwauling after reading your opinions.

  10. I’m always saddened when I see anyone commenting on the size of another person, but especially so when that is a woman commenting on another woman, because that means that patriarchy has won that battle and overcome that mind.

    We all know that being healthy is important, but healthy has a wide variety of options, as well as outcomes, and until our society looses its’ patriarchal shackles women will continue to be shamed for being “too skinny”, “too fat”, and frankly anything else tuts considered *in that miment*

  11. I’m always saddened when I see anyone commenting on the size of another person, but especially so when that is a woman commenting on another woman, because that means that patriarchy has won that battle and overcome that mind.

    We all know that being healthy is important, but healthy has a wide variety of options, as well as outcomes, and until our society looses its’ patriarchal shackles women will continue to be shamed for being “too skinny”, “too fat”, and frankly anything else tuts considered *in that moment* to be “wrong” or “undesirable”.

    I learned fairly early on in my short time on this planet that it’s not what’s on the outside that matters, and I find it a huge shame that many people seem to never learn that.