We all hate bad manners so I figured I would ask the wider community what bad burlesque etiquette we dont like. Here is just some of what was suggested:

  1. arriving late without prior notification – we all can run late at the best of times and I know its annoying but nothing stops you from calling ahead and letting a promoter know! I have been known to bump a performers first act off the bill as she arrived to late to perform it. Her fee was affected too. Had she called ahead I would have probably been able to alter the running order. Contracts are signed for reason and can be enforced.
  2. not researching your name – burlesque is a small community and it does not bode well if you fail to find a unique name. If the one you like is taken I wouldnt even suggest using something very similar as this can cause issues. Kandy Kisses existed a wee while ago…not now. You should refrain from composites of well known performer names. You need to stand out in this business.
  3. being rude to fellow performers – rudeness is NEVER needed. You are at your workplace therefore playground politics can take a hike! Also who would want to work with someone they dont like in the future.
  4. expecting waiter service – no one likes a diva so dont expect people to run after you just because you cant be bothered or are running late. Help is often offered but should never be demanded ever!
  5. mirror hogging – so what if there is one mirror in the dressing room. Its not yours exclusively.  You need to be sharing and caring…no hogging! A bad dressing room sharer is a twat. Sorry but you are.
  6. Suitcases – so you have a huge suitcase, doesn’t mean I should have to tippy-toe about it. Place it out of the way. If that means outside the room then so be it. Dressing rooms are small so dont add to the clutter.
  7. borrowing – so we all need to borrow items from time to time…but that should never be taken as granted. Always ask and return immediately. Taking something without permission is stealing.
  8. correspondence – if you are emailed about a gig or something else, be sure to reply even if its to say no thank you. You often make a first impression via those emails so dont be a twat about it ok!?
  9. drinking alcohol – never be drunk at a gig or at least prior to performing. You are at work. Not only do you come across as unprofessional you could also be voiding your insurance.
  10. fail to rehearse –  you are a business so you need to train to stay worthwhile. That means putting the time in. Nothing worse than an audience who feel they have paid good money to see something below par.
  11. act research – you should never intentionally copy another persons routine. Research is key. If you wish to pay homage to another performer then you should really approach that performer to ask their permission.
  12. food – no one says you cant eat backstage just think about what you are eating. Stinky food isnt pleasant in cramped space.
  13. Hairspray – if you are going to spray your barnet consider those around you. A cramped dressing room may not be the best placed to lacquer your do.
  14. Introductions – introduce yourself to all who you are working with. Its nice and polite and you never know you may get a job out it.
  15. Failure to notify – so you are doing a fire breathing element…great but did you tell the venue prior to the night? Or are you pouring water everywhere? Well let me tell you what nothing pisses off a performer more than having to perform on a messy stage. If you are booked for a show make sure you damn well let people know what your act entails. Nothing more annoying or amateur.
  16. Lack of insurance – I like to know that the performers I am working with are covered by insurance. Be that the venues insurance or their own but a performer without insurance for such acts as fire breathing etc then get the hell out of my venue.
  17. Tax – not everyone feels they should be tax registered but I think like the law does that if you are working (cash in hand or otherwise) then you damn well declare it. If I book a performer I ask them to sign a form stating they are solely responsible for paying for you own tax.
  18. Payment – pay promptly but also pay what was agreed. Dont add extra costs because you forgot to add them originally.
  19. Photographs – never take photos backstage without permission of those about you. Its not nice to notice that there is a photo of you with your pants off fixing a merkin…if you are taking photos professionally be sure to confirm you have the permission of the performers to sell them. Some have it written into their contracts with the promoter you cant.
  20. video – if you take videos of a show, its nice to ask those recorded if they mind them being put up on the internet. Its just rude not to.
  21. cancelling – if you need to cancel do so but in plenty of time. That doesnt mean you cancel once contracts are signed because a more local show has come up. Its bad form and very unprofessional.
  22. travel – dont ever over charge your travel costs. We know when you do it! Also dont accept a gig that you cant get to. No one wants to see begging tweets/status updates requesting a lift. Talk about unprofessional! Sure you can ask if someone else if going that way for cost sharing but then dont go charge the promoter full costs.
  23. Opinions – of course you can have them, but dont claim to be the Don of burlesque and can therefore dictate what is or isnt ‘burlesque’. You come across as a twat. Sorry.
  24. backstage buddies – sure we all wanna show off what we do but that doesnt mean inviting all backstage. Let your partner help you bring your suitcase in but dont then offer them a seat in there. Sometimes performers dont mind but dont ever presume. It doesnt make for a friendly backstage area.
  25. be nice to newcomers – no one likes being the new kid in class. Dont treat anyone least of newcomers to scene any less than you wish to be treated. Remember they may be new now but soon they could be future legends/show producers.
  26. business tactics – if your agency book you a gig its generally frowned upon if you hand over your business card to ‘cut out’ the middle man.
  27. bypassing – if you bypass an arranged booking agent and contact the client directly this is consider very rude and can anger the client. Not only that but also annoy the booker as the client will inform them undoubtedly. Dont be a muppet.
  28. hush! – not everyone backstage wants to put the world to rights or listen to your life story so hush up every now & then. Sometimes others need quiet before going on stage. I think we are all guilty of this from time to time…I know I am.
  29. fees – dont divulge another performer’s fees unless it is in discussion with booking that performer. This is a private matter. If you quote a fee, ask yourself are you honestly worth it?! A newcomer can hardly demand a headliner fee so play nice and dont be annoyed if someone says no or can we negotiate that please.
  30. teaching – when it comes to teaching you should know your subject matter. You may have done ballet or jazz for 20 yrs but burlesque is another dance form and entertainment that requires a lot of experience before teaching. AND if you think you are worthy of teaching be prepared for people to research you to make sure you are the right teacher for them. No one wants to pay to ‘learn’ from someone who has 6 months burlesque experience…and MAKE SURE YOU HAVE INSURANCE FOR GOD’S SAKE! Qualifications wouldnt go a miss.
  31. experience –  so you have 4 years experience performing burlesque…but is that every week or so performing or is that sporadically over the months/years?! Because if its the latter you DONT have 4 years experience. You are a sporadic performer/hobbyist (for want of a better word…please suggest!) so be honest about it.
  32. cvs – get one. Dont lie on it…we will know. Dont make it picture heavy nor email it to us 20 times a year.
  33. castings – read them! Dont send an email if you arent suitable. If you want the promoter to have your CV wait until the casting has closed and send it or send it under a clearly labelled header. Adding to the unnecessary backlog of emails will only annoy the recipient.
  34. music – nothing will annoy the DJ more at a night than being handed a CD in the wrong format or with loads of tracks on. Copy your music to a CD-R (CD-RWs etc dont work in all machines) with your name, length of track, when to play it and track name. If all you have is an iPod inform the promoter/show producer before hand. They may not have the facility to play it.
  35. give thanks – bloody well say thank you to everyone after the show. You dont have to run and thank all the audience but dont leave without saying thank you/good bye to your booker/DJ etc etc. No one wants to work with a rude bugger so dont let it be you.
  36. clean up – made a mess backstage? left tit tape backing on the table? Well you best be clearing that up. No one should be left to clean up your mess.

More to be added soon…. feel free to join the twitter debate using hashtag #badburlesqueetiquette

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